How To Be Evil
by Kei-Ten
Summary: Members of the Order had been sent to various places to guide some gifted to the way of the order. What happens when they deal with a certain ... gifted child? Dedicated to FMA4EVER Open to requests and suggestion :D
1. Chapter 1

How To Be Evil

One-shot

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**Disclaimer : I don't own The Named**

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**Kei-Ten :This is dedicated to FMA4EVER b/c she is awesooooooomeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee... no.. well ... err... hm... yea... she helped out with this idea!**

**FMA4EVER :... More like we played it out during homeroom**

**Kei-Ten: ...**

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Members of the gaurd had been sent to various places to _guide_ some gifted to the way of the order. 

The general stood in front of a group of gifted they had gathered together, whom were all to be trained in Lathenia's castle once they were broken to alliegence(sp). He looked **(Hm lets call him bob)- **Bob looked through the line of people, wondering who would break down first, till his gaze stopped at a blonde girl who wouldn't stop giggling. The blonde girl stood inbetween a brown haired girl and a black haired Asian. The Asian was trying to calm her down, while the brown haired girl was ranting on about something, obvisously the reason behind the blonde's giggle fit.

_... Well then, these will be the first _Bob thought to himself as he looked down at the clipboard in hand.

"Come here Blanchard, bring McMcary and Lee too".

Allison, Elizabeth, and Tk walked out of line up to Bob. Allison stared at his name tag before falling into another fit of giggles.

"Blanchard..."

"HAHAHA HIS NAME IS BOB!"

".. whats wrong with that?", Elizabeth asked Tk. Tk in turn, shrugged her soldiers and looked at Bob's expression, as Allison began to calm down.

"Ok ok ok I'm good now... So then Mr -haha- Bob, what did you want? I mea- OH MY GOSH! HAHAHAH THAT EXPRESSION! YOU TOOK TK'S GLARE! HAHAHAHAHAHHHAHA"

_.. I'm lost..._ Bob thought to himself.

_We shouldn't of let her get hold of the coffee and sugar... _Elizabeth and Tk thought together. Then...

"Hey... what's wrong with my glare?"

"Uh... Nothing Tk! I love you don't worry!"

"... What about me?", Elizabeth asked pouting.

"No one cares about you Elizabeth hahah just kiddin", Allison says.

Tk shook her head and turned to Bob, "You should probably let us go"

Bob looked at her strangely, "And why would I do that? Are you part of the Gaurd?"

_Wow for a general this dude is slow in the head_ All three girls thought to themselves.

"No, but you see. Allison here, doesn't have a single cell in her body, willing to do evil..", Tk says.

"Yea... watch this.", Elizabeth said as she dug through Tk's bag.

Pulling out a pencil she turned to Allison, who was taking deep breathes with the help of Tk, "Ok, Allison. I want you to glare at this pencil be mad at it"

"Huh why?"

"... It killed Alphonse?", Tk adds.

"WHAT NOOO! I WILL GLARE! AND BE MAD!", Allison says, as she stares at the pencil, squinting her eyes in attempt to glare.

"Just wait for it", Elizabeth whispers to Bob. Bob, not sure on what was to happen, began to worry. _Surely the Lady can go without just three people right?_

Back to how Allison and her squinting...

"Allison?"

".. HAHAHAHHAH IT'S PURPLE! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH PURPLE AND GREEN!"

"... I never met you three"

"Yea, see ya later Bob.", Tk says as she turned away grabbin Allison's left arm while Elizabeth grabbed her right.

"OH! LET'S SKIP INTO THE SUNSET!", Allison exclaims.

"No Allison w-" "ALLISON NO!"

* * *

Matt, Isabel, and Akarian who were watching the whole thing, in plans to stop the Order from recruiting others, winced as they saw a figure trip, pulling two others down. 

"let's not mention this", Matt whispers.

Isabel and Akarian nod their heads in agreement.


	2. Chapter 2

How To Be Evil

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**Disclaimer : I don't own The Named**

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**Kei-Ten : ... Well... it's just another that FMA4EVER decided that we should do... in homeroom... again...**

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It was a normal day, other than Tk and Allison were somewhere in the citadel. They had both been added in the gang, after their… escape from the Order. Elizabeth was currently at school, debating with Mr. Gibbs, Dr. Phill, and some other odd students, as to what book they would read next. So, Tk and Allison had entered an empty room, which had a few chairs and a long table, where they sat. 

Allison and Tk stared at nothing for a while. Tk set her head down with a sigh, while Allison leaned on top of her, until something caught her eye.

"Look!" Tk looked at what she talking about lazily.

"A bug?"

"No No! Look! It's so fast!!! Oh, Oh!! It's got roller skates!!"

"Allison.."

"No ! Look I mean it!"

"Allison, it's a bug, it's got wings too see?"

As if to prove her point, the small bug flew off, but landed back on the table.

"See?"

"NO! It's got roller skates!", Allison exclaimed, unintentionally bringing her elbow down on Tk's head.

"OW!!"

"Oh, oops, sorry."

Tk sat up, rubbing her neck, "What ever, it's just a bug", just then the bug flew off, "See? It's gone.."

"OH! I get it! It's Matt!"

Tk shook her head.

Just then Allison began spazzing out, throwing her hands everywhere.

"A-Allison?"

"He's on me!! AH! He's in my nose!"

"Allison, it's a bug not Matt, and it's right there-"

Allison didn't seem to hear Tk as she flung her arms around. Tk shook her head and moved her chair to the door and sat there.

Just then Matt walks in.

"What?"

Allison stops moving around and looks at him. She slowly brought up her arm and pointed at him.

"… You're in my nose"

"What?"

"YOU'RE IN MY NOSE!!"  
"W-wait Allison" "-IN MY NOSE!" "-ALLISON LISTEN!!!!!!!"

"HE'S IN MY NOSE! SOMEONE HELP! OH LORIAN! OH DARTEMIS! OH FRITH HELP!!!!"

"ALLISON!", Tk grabs Allison's face, "-Breath"

Allison calms down then whispers, "_He's in my nose.."_

"O-h dear..", Tk slaps her forehead, "Allison… Who.Is.Standing.Right.There?", Tk says pointing to Matt.

Allison looks over at Matt for a moment, and lays her chin on Tk's shoulder as she stares at him for a moment, then whispers, "_You're in my nose!"_

"Dear….", Tk begins to mumble to herself and turns away as she sits down, still holding on to Allison's shirt just in case.

All the sudden Allison grabs Matt's shirt and furiously shakes him while yelling, "GET OUT OF MY NOSE!!"

Tk jerks Allison's shirt, which makes her fall down. While Matt sits down slowly, trying to regain his bearings. Tk pulls out a small jar from who knows where, she seems to have everything… so they say. Anyway she waves the jar through the air a bit then quickly closes it and brings it to Allison's face.

"What.Is.This?", the small jar had the bug in it from earlier.

Allison stares inside the jar and says, "That is Matt."

"Okay…. Where is Matt?", Tk asks pointing to the jar.

Allison looks from the jar, to Matt, to all of the Named that happened to somehow be in the room and then back to Tk to answer.

"In my nose!"

**…….. LOL……**

**The End... Well for now

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**

**Made by FMA4EVER and Kei-Ten**


	3. Chapter 3

How To Be Evil

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**Disclaimer : I don't own The Named**

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**Kei-Ten : ... erm... ya... so.. erm... i guess this isn't really a one-shot anymore... **

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So it's mid-day and everyone is dealing with their own lives, except... 

"-and that's the schedule understood? We'll switch off between them every month", Arkarian says calmly.

"I object!", everyone turned to Matt. Sure he was their leader, but he still acted like his age. Immature, and overprotective.

Arkarian sighs, "What now Matt?"

"Arkarian! I can't let my sister be with ... Allison!!! Especially alone!", Matt exclaims.

"Oh, don't worry Matt! It's just Allison! I can teach her no prob!", Isabel says with a smile.

"Oh please", Matt mumbled.

"Actually, Isabel I think Allison is the reason for the monthly exchanges..", Ethan says.

"... Well! It doesn't matter! I can do it!", Isabel exclaims.

".. You'll regret those words..", Matt mumbles, remembering past events.

* * *

So in some odd term of events, the trio became a part of the guard. But having no experience... at all. They were going to be taught by the Named, but none really wanted to stick with any of the trio too long. Allison, who was very hyper, and seemed to be able to laugh at anything. Elizabeth, who'd go off on the most random subject and ramble about it or herself with no end. Or Tk, who was the odd Asian out, who'd either give you complete attention or ignore you completely. So they decided not to leave any of the Named with one of them too long. They'd rather the Named have their sanity once their traing was complete, hopefully. 

Ethan let's out a sigh. He had gotten Tk, and she had given him her full attention ... until he accidently talked out about Allison being odd and too hyper. From then on she simply ignored him. So Ethan is sitting on a rock, and Tk is leaning on the other side of a tree away from him.

"Hey, Tk", no response.

Ethan sighes again and gets up to talk to Tk.

"Tk?"

Before he reaches the other side of the tree, Isabel runs straight into him, Neriah running behind her.

"Owww!", Isabel quickly stands up.

"Sorry Ethan! Have you seen Allison? I was helping her and she told me and Neriah to look one way"

_'and you did?'_ Ethan thinks.

"-and when we turned around she was gone! Neriah even turned into a hawk to look for her!", Neriah nods.

Ethan shakes his head, "Do you girls have any idea where she might be?"

"No! We've looked everywhere!", Isabel says exasperated.

"Oh no! What if she's lost!", Neriah exclaims.

"No, I'm sure she's somewhere nearby, we can just ask Tk if she might know", Ethan says trying to calm the girls down.

"Right!"

"So where is she?"

"Uh right over by the tree.."

So the three walk around the tree to ask for Tk.

"Ethan..."

"Where is she?"

"She's gone!"

Indeed she was. Tk was gone, obviously she was dragged off in a hurry, since her stuff was lying around in a mess.

"Oh...", Neriah mumbles.

"The Order couldn't have gotten to them...", Ethan says.

"Um, Ethen.. No offence.. But I don't think the Order would like them..", Isabel says remembering some past events.

* * *

So the the three of them were running around looking for Allison and Tk. Isabel was running a bit of a ways ahead and ran straight into Arkarian and Matt. 

"Arkarian?", Ethan pants out. Arkarian was holding Isabel in his arm since she had lost her balance, "Why are you out? I thought you and Matt were dealing with Elizabeth!"

"Well.. We were", Arkarian says.

"Untill Allison and Tk ran in..", Matt mumbles.

"Wait what?", Isabel says, "You saw them?"

"Yea, they ran straight in and Allison grabbed Elizabeth.", Matt says.

"What? And you didn't stop them?", Ethan exclaims getting frustrated.

"We tried," Arkarian says calmly.

"And?", Neriah asks, wanting them to continue.

"Well.. I tried to stop Allison by grabbing her arm, and you see... Tk practically bit my head off, threatening to kill me if touched her again!", Matt exclaims.

"S-She threatened to k-kill you?", Isabel had to stop herself from laughing.

"I mean it! She didn't even hesitate! Right when I touched her arm, she yelled that she would kill me!"

Ethan gives Matt a friendly assuring pat, "Don't worry Matt, you're still alive at least"

"Are you kidding me?! Elizabeth slapped me in the face! Then they ran off!"

"O-Oh"

At that, Isabel broke out into laughter, and Neriah had to keep her giggling as soft as possible.

* * *

Three hours later and still no news. They had all split up into groups of two. Arkarian and Isabel in one, Neriah, Matt and Ethan in the other. 

Neriah, Matt and Ethan were sitting somewhere near, Ethan had been teaching or attempting to teach Tk. Ethan lets out a sigh right as Arkarian and Isabel ran over. Their faces were a bit flushed and they seemed a bit more tired than having just run.

"Find them yet?", Isabel pants.

Everyone shakes their head.

"This will take forever!", Matt exclaims.

"Wait shh", Neriah says, "Do you hear that?"

Sure enough, there was a soft giggling, from.. the other side of the tree?

The five of them sneaked over to the other side of the tree. All three of the girls were there. Elizabeth leaning on Tk's shoulder talking about something, that was obviously making Allison giggle. Allison with her head on Tk's lap giggling, while Tk herself had fallen asleep, sketch book in the other hand.

"I'm serious! They're faces were like locked the whole time! I thought they'd never leave the Citadel! If they didn't we wouldn't have gotten out!", Elizabeth rambles on.

"Yea! They were like eating each other's faces!", Allison says giggling.

"Where have you girls been?!", Ethan exclaims.

"Oh well you see, ... everywhere!", Allison replies. Once her eyes reach Arkarian and Isabel she breaks into another fit of giggles. Akarian and Isabel begin to blush, Matt begins to fume, Neriah tries to calm him down, and Ethan is trying to keep his own sanity. Dear God, he hoped they would live to be _sane._

**"HAHAHA! THEY WERE GLUED TOGETHER!!!!"

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Joy... -.- new chap... ugh... so... tired... nah... well .. i am... but im more so... bored... **


	4. Chapter 4

How To Be Evil

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Disclaimer : I don't own The Named

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Kei-Ten :Sorry for never replying to my reviewers!!!!! xoxoxox Thanks a bunch for your support!!!!

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It was just another normal day.

But you know this is a _humor fiction_... So you can toss that thought out of your heads.

Allison and Tk were in class together.. _Homeroom_, to be specific, and both in their.. Corner..

Every once in a while a giggle would erupt from the far right corner, which would be quieted by shh-ing sounds from the teacher.

Then.

****

BAM!!

The door was suddenly slammed open.

Everyone looked over. The door was just barely hanging on by hinges, Tk noticed.

"OH!" Allison jumped up, "It's Matt!!"

She took in a deep breath. "HE'S IN -" Allison was promptly quieted by Tk's hand, who pulled Allison down with her free hand.

"Allison, we've already gone through your Matt-and- your nose", Tk mumbled, "Matt is not a bu- .. Okay.. That's just.. Gross.."

Allison grinned like a three-year old as Tk wiped saliva off her hand.

The teacher glared at Matt who was glaring in the duo's direction, which made Grace glare at him, since the doorknob remains had landed on her art, and everyone else glare at each other cause of some bizarre reason.

'Oh I want to glare too!'

'Allison... not now...'

"YOU-!"

"Young man! If you have something to day to my two students," the elderly man gestured towards Allison and Tk with his arm, "you will walk over and whisper! Not yell across my room!" He took a deep breath and adjusted his glasses.

Matt fumed to himself and walked to the back of the room. Tk knew what was coming and told Allison to ignore him.

"Do you two know how much trouble you're.. _Oh my.. _Is that Mr. Carter??"

Indeed, on the sheet of paper Allison and Tk were working on was a picture of Mr. Carter.. Though.. In Allison's point of view, a more .. Improved version.

Matt watched amazed and aghast as the two continued to draw over "Mr. Carter's" face.

"Oh Oh!!!" Allison exclaimed and drew a boil with a bow.

"It's Mr. Boil!" she wrote to the side, 'I'm a boil!' and by Mr. Carter, 'I love boil!'

"What the bloody-!?" Matt said aghast to himself.

Tk and Allison began to giggle as Mr. Merwin began to yell at Matt.

"Excuse me! I don't know who you are, but you are disturbing my class and you must leave NOW!"

"Doesn't even know he's dealing with an Immortal!" Matt mumbled to himself as he walked out of the room.

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**Kei-Ten I'M SORRYYYYYY!!!!!**

**IT'S SHORT AND I HAVEN'T UPDATED IN FOREVER !!!!!**

**yea..**


	5. Act 5

How To Be Evil - Act 5

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Disclaimer : I don't own The Named

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Kei-Ten :See! I put two up! Cuz they're both short and i owe you guys!

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Back and forth, back and forth. Pause. Sigh. Repeat.

Allison, Elizabeth, and Tk had been watching Dillon for the past 30 minutes after being tied to individual chairs.

"_I say we blow this joint_," Elizabeth whispered.

Allison and Tk stared at her.

"_What?_"

"_Who in the world says that nowadays?_" Allison asked

"I DO!" Elizabeth exclaimed, "oops…"

The three looked up. _Sigh. Turn._ He was still going.

"_Let's go,_" Tk said nodding her head.

"_Okay!_" Allison said, "_but how.. Oh…_" they watched as Tk stood up with her rope in her hands.

"_How'd **that** happen?"_ Elizabeth asked incredulously.

Tk shrugged her shoulders, paused to think then opened her mouth, "_I'm magic._"

Allison's eyes widened and she opened her mouth to yell, but Elizabeth kicked her to stop. Instead, Allison let out a yelp of pain and Dillon finally turned.

'So Dillon knows when I'm in pain??? I LOVE YOU DILLON! No wait.. You're the one who tied us up! I can't - WAH! I LOVE YOU DILLON!'

Tk nudged Allison in the shoulder to get her thoughts straight.

At first Dillon just stared at the group, then to Tk, her rope, her hands, the chair, the rope, the chair, to a butterfly, to- wait, hold up, a butterfly?

Ah, yes… The butterfly… Which Allison and Elizabeth were trying to grab with their teeth, since they were still tied up.

Dillon snapped out of his daze.

"How'd you get out of your ropes?"

Tk looked around nervously, Dillon, her friends, rope, her hands with the rope, Dillon's feet, the ceiling, the butterfly…, Dillon, the lights, her empty hands, the ceiling, the door...

Tk ran over and untied her sisters.

"Hey! You can't do th-AAHH!!" Dillon fell with a thud, as Tk, Elizabeth, and Allison ran to the door.

"What the??" Dillon said as he tried to untie his ankles. Which had been tied… by rope. Rope. Tk's rope. Who had been on the complete other side of the room.

"How-?" he exclaimed as he tried to untie it, only to have that he couldn't and got his hands tied as well. He groaned how was he supposed to explain this???

He looked up and saw Tk standing at the door way staring at him.

"You!!!" he exclaimed. She grinned, mouthed a single word, and took off.

* * *

Two hours later, the Named decided to find Dillon, who was in the Citadel main room, tied up on the ground and a rather large pink bow on his head. 

"What happened?" Ethan exclaimed. The Named ran over, while a certain trio stood to the side.

"Are you ok, Dillon?" Isabel asked which and Neriah tried not to laugh.

Dillon glanced at the trio as he was being untied.

FLASH!

"YES! I GOT IT!"

"RUN ELIZABETH!"

Dillon groaned but mumbled a single word under his breath.

"What?" Ethan asked and stopped tugging on the ropes.

Dillon groaned again in annoyance and repeated what he had said louder.

"_Magic._"


	6. Act 6

How To Be Evil - Act 6

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Disclaimer : I don't own The Named

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Kei-Ten :3 FMA4EVER and I did this together at school 3

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"Has anyone seen the girls?" Neriah asked.

"Yeah, we lost track of them," Isabel says.

"_Magic.._" Dillon mumbled.

"What Dillon?" Matt asked.

"…Nothing," Dillon replied quietly.

"Where did you last see them?" Arkarian asked Neriah and Isabel.

"We were training them near the waterfall," Neriah started.

"-And they were -poof- gone!" Isabel exclaimed.

"They just disappeared?" Ethan jumped into the conversation.

"Ethan!" Matt said surprised, "Aren't you supposed to be hanging out with your dad today?"

"Uh, yeah, about that," Ethan scratched his head, "My dad disappeared too."

"They kidnapped Shaun?" Jimmy said shocked.

"I'm sure there is a good explanation," Arkarian reasoned.

"But how do you know?? They could be from the Order!!" Matt said.

"Matt, Allison _never _screens her thoughts. I'm sure we would know," Arkarian replied dryly, "Plus, have you already forgotten when we met _Bob_?"

"…" Matt turned away.

"…" Suddenly, Ethan realized something, "AHH!! Who knows what they're doing to my dad!!!!"

"Ethan, calm down," Arkarian said.

"Calm down??? This is serious!! Those three!! You EXPECT me to-"

_**THUNK.  
**_

".. Thanks…" Ethan mumbled.

"No problem," Matt cracked his knuckles, "Anytime."

Suddenly, the Named heard a giggle come from the corner of the room where no one was standing.

"Who just giggled??" Isabel asked freaked out a little bit.

"It… Sounded like a girl," Neriah replied, edging closer to Matt.

_**"I'm not LITTLE!!" **_Elizabeth yelled as Tk's invisibility spell wore off.

"EEK!!" Elizabeth squeaked.

"Oh shnap.." Tk mumbled.

"Tk!!" Allison exclaimed, "Make us go invisible again!!"

"I can't right now!! Elizabeth broke my concentration and-… Hi everyone…"

_**"YOU!!!" **_Matt and Dillon exclaimed.

"Tk!! I thought you said you didn't have any gifts!!" Isabel exclaimed.

"Er.." Tk took a step back, "Surprise?"

"Where's my dad?!?!" Ethan exclaimed.

"… Uhoh.." Allison said.

"Did we leave him there?" Elizabeth whispered.

"…."

"BYE!!" the three disappeared again.

"Where's my dad??" Ethan whimpered.

"Don't worry! we'll find him!" Neriah reassured him.

"Matt, you and Neriah take Dillon and search the forest. Ethan, you and Jimmy search Verdian. Isabel and I will search my chambers," Arkarian explains.

"_**No way**_! I'm not leaving my sister with you!!" Matt yelled angrily like a 5-year-old.

_"OH!! Chambers!! TeeHee!!"  
_

_"Allison stop stalling!"  
_

_"Move people!!"  
_

Ethan let out a frustrated groan, while Matt and Dillon began feeling around for the invisible trio. The rest of the Named ignored the two and talked amongst themselves.

"KYAAA!!!"

**_SLAP._**

When everyone turned around Dillon was on the ground with a red hand print on his face.

"That… Was … Allison..?" Isabel questioned.

Everyone looked at Dillon as he grinned sheepishly.

"I didn't _mean _to grab her butt…"

"…"

_**"I'LL KILL HIM!!!" **_Tk yelled as her spell wore off and she pounced at Dillon.

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_If you want to find out what happened to Shaun leave a review about it, and I'll tell you -wink wink- its a funny story.._


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